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something to lighten up your day - it did mine

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Author Topic: something to lighten up your day - it did mine  (Read 5780 times)

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Pinkmug

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something to lighten up your day - it did mine
« on: March 05, 2010, 01:47:58 AM »

Wonderful English from Around the World
 
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge, Norway  :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor ' s office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok  :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom :
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel ' s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan  :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany ' s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand  :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen  :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
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A calorie is just a bug that lives in the closet and shrinks your clothes overnight

Tandoori Trilobite

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Re: something to lighten up your day - it did mine
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2010, 03:48:47 AM »

:D

I am reminded of one I read years ago about a sign in a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE SOVIET UNION, THEN YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
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Pinkmug

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Re: something to lighten up your day - it did mine
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2010, 06:19:59 AM »

haha LOL welcome but only for the first time...

I once saw a pic of a box office in a portuguese site with a sign that read:

Open :
Mon - Tue 09.00 to 22.00
Wed - Thu 09.00 to 22.00
Fri - Sat 09.00 to 22.00
Sun - 09.00 to 22.00

LOL
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goblyn

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Re: something to lighten up your day - it did mine
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2010, 08:12:11 AM »

In Soviet Russia sign reads you!

Sorry I couldn't resist doing my Yakov Smirnoff impression.
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nougat

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Re: something to lighten up your day - it did mine
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2010, 08:36:35 AM »

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

we have a whole site of silly things....

eg  http://www.onlyinmalta.com/oim/imagepages/imageoim12.html?
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