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Older ladies in hot outfits?

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Author Topic: Older ladies in hot outfits?  (Read 79474 times)

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djdawg

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #45 on: July 25, 2007, 11:20:57 AM »

i'm sorry for the women in your life.

Why on earth would you say such a thing?  I don't even know you and you don't even know me....wow....I'll have to let my four daughters - who totally adore me - know what a horrible Daddy they have.
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mpq

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #46 on: July 25, 2007, 11:30:08 AM »

Because it's sad that you can't see women over 40 as hot. I'm not speaking of daughters. Women need the men in their life to always see them as hot. Desirable.  Hot isn't just body and looks. It's everything put together in the package. Maybe our definition of hot differs. I see older men as 'hotter' than younger. More desirable.
I apologize. I think maybe we are defining hot differently.
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djdawg

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #47 on: July 25, 2007, 11:43:34 AM »

Because it's sad that you can't see women over 40 as hot. I'm not speaking of daughters. Women need the men in their life to always see them as hot. Desirable.  Hot isn't just body and looks. It's everything put together in the package. Maybe our definition of hot differs. I see older men as 'hotter' than younger. More desirable.
I apologize. I think maybe we are defining hot differently.

Like I wrote in my post...I never said that I didn't find women at this age desireable.  Let's not sugar coat it shall we?  What we're talking about is if we weren't married, everything was cool, etc would we jump the bones of the person in question?  I've felt this numerous times with women my age. 

I think maybe women and men have different definitions of "hot."  I think for most AMERICAN men (yes, we're just knuckledragging cavemen I guess) to us, "hot" is young, great bodies, tight, etc.  Like it or not that's what get's shoved in our face every single minute of every single day.  When you watch awards shows what kind of women do you see on the arms of movie producers an directors?  In most cases it's not 45 yr old women.  They're usually 20 somethings....

For the sake of the argument I was thinking of "hot" as a purely physical trait.  Nothing about how much small talk can you have, is she intelligent, etc...for guys "hot" is would we "hit that" if we could? 
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tek_vixen

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #48 on: July 25, 2007, 01:06:07 PM »


I think a really good question (and I might start a thread on it myself) is that why do many (and I do mean MANY) women go through a "de-sexualization" of sorts after they get married or more often after they have children? 

First thing that happens?  Hair gets chopped off....(American women at least)  I don't know why it is so hard for many women to still see themselves as sexual beings after they have kids but this is a major gripe of men!!!!!  We hate it!!!!  (yeah, you don't have time, changing diapers, etc...blah blah blah...we've heard it all before and it's all excuses.)


You try feeling sexy when you have three kids of single digit ages and do all of the housework, change all of the diapers, and oh by the way, hold down a full time job outside the home.  Women are geared to feel sexy when their emotional needs are being taken care of.  If you want to lay the blame, start looking at the knuckledragging cavemen who park their asses on the couch at night and stare at the tube while drinking beer and eating chips, totally ignoring the fact that you're working your ass off.  And then they come up and grab you by the boobs and expect you to be ready to go right then, despite having multiple kids hanging off of you at the moment.  You can put your "excuses" statement directly where the sun doesn't shine!

T-Vix
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terio

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #49 on: July 25, 2007, 01:06:38 PM »

I think maybe we need to put on a poll over in the Men's Department to find out how many men think that a woman over 40 can be "hot".
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terio

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #50 on: July 25, 2007, 01:08:22 PM »

Okay, When I posted that I didn't realize that this IS the Men's Department!
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djdawg

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #51 on: July 25, 2007, 02:44:43 PM »


I think a really good question (and I might start a thread on it myself) is that why do many (and I do mean MANY) women go through a "de-sexualization" of sorts after they get married or more often after they have children? 

First thing that happens?  Hair gets chopped off....(American women at least)  I don't know why it is so hard for many women to still see themselves as sexual beings after they have kids but this is a major gripe of men!!!!!  We hate it!!!!  (yeah, you don't have time, changing diapers, etc...blah blah blah...we've heard it all before and it's all excuses.)

...............If you want to lay the blame, start looking at the knuckledragging cavemen who park their asses on the couch at night and stare at the tube while drinking beer and eating chips, totally ignoring the fact that you're working your ass off.  And then they come up and grab you by the boobs and expect you to be ready to go right then, despite having multiple kids hanging off of you at the moment..........

LMAO....ok....so the men are ALL  to blame?   :? :? :?

It's certainly a two way street and nothing in my post said it wasn't.  I'm not talking AT ALL about men acting like idiots and wanting sex between poopy diapers and Kraft Mac & Cheese.  I'm talking about the overall transformation that many women go through (yes, and men do some transforming themselves but not in the way I'm talking about) where they have problems seeing themselves in multi roles.  A mother, wife, and LOVER.  I've seen this time and time again.  Independent of a husband being an idiot....again NOT talking about the timing of the sex act,  men being insensitive and not doing some laundry, etc.  And I'm not even talking about some women that are lugging around those post birth few extra pounds that I'm sure are hard to drop for some of them. 

It's just sad that many cannot see themselves or identify themselves as being more multi-faceted and the cutting off of the hair - while funny in a way - is a great litmus test in this transformation.
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tek_vixen

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #52 on: July 25, 2007, 03:02:53 PM »

Laugh it up, fuzzball, you're the one who's saying that the cutting of hair is desexualizing!  How totally ridiculous!  I'm sure most women with short hair feel like sexual beings.  Personally, I didn't cut my hair above my shoulders until about two years ago (I'm 45).  But believe me, having an infant or toddler grab onto my hair was big-time temptation to do so earlier.  I just happen to like my hair longer.  Alas, aging is often accompanied by thinning, and my hair no longer looks good long as it did when I was young.  But I have several friends with young children who have "hacked off their hair", as you put it, mainly due to the practicalities of having shorter hair around young children.  But that's ok, you just keep thinking that it's a communist plot to desexualize women and make their spouses unhappy.  Makes for great entertainment.

T-Vix
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djdawg

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2007, 03:25:58 PM »

Laugh it up, fuzzball, you're the one who's saying that the cutting of hair is desexualizing!  How totally ridiculous!  I'm sure most women with short hair feel like sexual beings.  Personally, I didn't cut my hair above my shoulders until about two years ago (I'm 45).  But believe me, having an infant or toddler grab onto my hair was big-time temptation to do so earlier.  I just happen to like my hair longer.  Alas, aging is often accompanied by thinning, and my hair no longer looks good long as it did when I was young.  But I have several friends with young children who have "hacked off their hair", as you put it, mainly due to the practicalities of having shorter hair around young children.  But that's ok, you just keep thinking that it's a communist plot to desexualize women and make their spouses unhappy.  Makes for great entertainment.

T-Vix

You're totally missing my point...you are failing to grasp the big picture....the cutting off of hair is not the be all and end all of my argument.  It is a symptom of a bigger problem.  You spelled it out perfectly....kids come first...it's an "inconvenience".....I guess putting hair up or doing something different with it is too much of a hassle....doesn't matter that the man they married loves her long hair.....again, it's the tip of the iceberg.  Obviously this hits close to home and I will admit myself it's sometimes hard to look at things objectively when we personally go through them ourselves.  At any rate...opinions don't change the truth.  The sky is blue no matter if some people might think it's yellow.

Back to the original thread........
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falconcy

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #54 on: July 25, 2007, 03:49:00 PM »

I personally find women over 40 who look after themselves pretty hot. They also are a lot more confident, especially between the sheets. Young is definitely not hot, and whilst a young girl might seem like a great pull for an older guy, having to show her what to do is not my idea of fun in the bedroom. Short hair can be as much a turn on as long hair, it is also a lot better on a hot summer night when a combination of hair and sweat in your face (with the WoT position) is not always a pleasant experience.
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tek_vixen

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #55 on: July 25, 2007, 04:00:50 PM »


You're totally missing my point...you are failing to grasp the big picture....the cutting off of hair is not the be all and end all of my argument.  It is a symptom of a bigger problem.  You spelled it out perfectly....kids come first...it's an "inconvenience".....I guess putting hair up or doing something different with it is too much of a hassle....doesn't matter that the man they married loves her long hair.....again, it's the tip of the iceberg. Obviously this hits close to home and I will admit myself it's sometimes hard to look at things objectively when we personally go through them ourselves. At any rate...opinions don't change the truth. The sky is blue no matter if some people might think it's yellow.

Back to the original thread........

Where did I say the kids come first?  Actually, in this case, the woman comes first.  Not enduring the pain of having your hair pulled.  Believe me, I did put my hair up, and ponytails, buns, etc. are just as much fodder for grasping fingers.  Does it matter that the man a woman marries loves her long hair?  Maybe.  If he loved her, he'd care enough about her not to want her to be in pain.  If he really loved her, and not just her looks, he'd want her to have a look that made her happy with herself and comfortable in her skin.  I stand by my assertion that short hair does not equate with desexualization.  And yes, I agree, you hit a really hot point with me.  Been there, done that, have the T-Shirt as well as several other assorted souvenirs.  You really need to walk a mile in a woman's shoes before criticizing so much.  And since you don't have the proper equipment to ever do it, I have absolutely no expectation that you'll ever get "the big picture".  Maybe in your next life.  Oh, and by the way, I think the sky is purple.  Phbbbbbbt!

T-Vix
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djdawg

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #56 on: July 25, 2007, 06:26:35 PM »


You're totally missing my point...you are failing to grasp the big picture....the cutting off of hair is not the be all and end all of my argument.  It is a symptom of a bigger problem.  You spelled it out perfectly....kids come first...it's an "inconvenience".....I guess putting hair up or doing something different with it is too much of a hassle....doesn't matter that the man they married loves her long hair.....again, it's the tip of the iceberg. Obviously this hits close to home and I will admit myself it's sometimes hard to look at things objectively when we personally go through them ourselves. At any rate...opinions don't change the truth. The sky is blue no matter if some people might think it's yellow.

Back to the original thread........

Where did I say the kids come first?  Actually, in this case, the woman comes first.  Not enduring the pain of having your hair pulled.  Believe me, I did put my hair up, and ponytails, buns, etc. are just as much fodder for grasping fingers.  Does it matter that the man a woman marries loves her long hair?  Maybe.  If he loved her, he'd care enough about her not to want her to be in pain.  If he really loved her, and not just her looks, he'd want her to have a look that made her happy with herself and comfortable in her skin.  I stand by my assertion that short hair does not equate with desexualization.  And yes, I agree, you hit a really hot point with me.  Been there, done that, have the T-Shirt as well as several other assorted souvenirs.  You really need to walk a mile in a woman's shoes before criticizing so much.  And since you don't have the proper equipment to ever do it, I have absolutely no expectation that you'll ever get "the big picture".  Maybe in your next life.  Oh, and by the way, I think the sky is purple.  Phbbbbbbt!

T-Vix

Ahhhh....the mis-communication of the sexes.....I forgot how much I missed it!
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losing-it

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go2grl

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #58 on: July 25, 2007, 10:44:20 PM »

At the risk of keeping an arguement going I'm just going to point out that I think djdawgs' original observation got lost in a bunch of heated repartee. 
I think many new moms DO go through a phase where they feel less sexual after they become moms. The reasons are many and varied - lack of sleep, being "touched out" from nursing, perhaps overwhelmed by the changes in their bodies and changes in their lives. We expect alot of moms - and we're working SO HARD to live up to those expectations (and to keep that baby alive).  Trying (and inevitably failing) to live up to being a perfect mom is so difficult (who knew you'd be gritting your teeth just to get through the pain of breastfeeding those first few weeks?)

With time and PATIENCE we rediscover ourselves and our mate and some of us are even hotter than ever afterwards and know it!  But if your mate is unable to be patient supportive and understanding of the romance on holiday boy oh boy does it ever cause major resentment. And resentment leads to an even longer romance holiday.
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go2grl

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Re: Older ladies in hot outfits?
« Reply #59 on: July 25, 2007, 11:03:10 PM »

Oh and djdawg you DO need to update yor definition of "hot" it's stuck somewhere back in high school   :wink:
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