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[irondawn]

Day 7

Weight: 178.5

I've broken the 180 mark, which is really a great thing.  I have SUCH an issue breaking that number that to do it has really given me pep.  Had it happened yesterday, I think I would have been better.

A lot of personal issues are coming to light - I referred to it before, but my constant way of finding excuses to give in, to not be determined.  I used to reach out and get what I wanted, work hard, day and night to achieve it.  Now I feel like I've spent the last few years making excuses - why I couldn't exercise (no time, didn't feel like it, needed to clean the house, it was raining, etc.) or why didn't I practice bellydance or yoga (no time, didn't feel like it, needed to clean the house, feel achey, wanted to spend time with my husband, working late.)  And I LOVE dance and exercise - so why the committment issues?  I don't know, and it is coming to light as a pretty big problem.  I can find an excuse for anything - and I'll even find ways to induce physical excuses - fall and hurt myself, get a cold, etc.  So many things feed this - and it is all mental.  I EXPECT to get sick after working out for a few days in a row...it's my modus operandi and my alibi. 

So, now I'm scared.  I'm scared that it will all come back and I'll be enmeshed in my bad habits again.  I am trying to make plans for working out and slowly introducing food...but I've done all this before - all the planning that I do almost every week or month and never follow through on.  I fashion it as self-sacrifice (had to help my husband with the business, had to make him dinner, had to help him here, spending time with him for the health of my relationship) but it really is serving myself a healthy excuse to avoid success...because with success comes responsibility.

Well, that was something of a spew.  Today I am wearing pants I've never worn.  I bought them because they were a deal and I only needed to "lose 10 pounds or so" to fit in them properly...well, I wasn't able to ever lose that 10 pounds I needed to lose.  I have a couple pairs of pants like that, actually.  I'm hoping that ultimately, with the average loss of 1-2 pounds daily, I will reach the low 170s, and from there I can spike back up to 175 with food, begin my exercise regimen all over again while introducing foods to see how my body reacts to them. 

I am still completely freezing all the time and the weather is nasty...not fitting for my little summer suit.  I have no real plans for the next four days - which is good - and perhaps I'll start to add in exercise and dance practice so that when I come off the fast I won't have to balance NOT shoving food in my face and incorporating exercise.  Here's hoping.

[losing-it]

Yay, irondawn! You're doing it, and facing some pretty tough self-revelations, too...ones that I can totally relate too. Ooh, ouch! Yikes.

[irondawn]

Thanks losing-it.   It is difficult to see when you stand in your own way of succeeding at your goals.  Somehow, it always seems so external...

So, I've got another question people.  My fast goes till Thursday, June 7th.  However, I have an event Friday night, June 8th to attend - a going away party for a friend who is moving away.  We are going to a posh little restaurant with great food and then going dancing at 80's night later on. 

I'm SUPPOSED to be on juice that whole day.  Do you think there is a way to speed that up so that I could at least have a salad that evening?  Any thoughts?  Do you think I could start as if it were day two and have juice in the morning, broth in the afternoon, and some salad in the evening? 

[falconcy]

I'd go with a salad or a vegetarian dish, most places will have vegetarian food and that can be a good cover ;-)

[irondawn]

See, I knew you'd have an answer, falconcy.     I just don't want to get sick right afterwards and ruin the party!  Thank you!  I think I will make planning this meal a treat! 

Now...I might recant this later when I get into my moody mode again :lol:   but...

I feel great right now.  I think this might be a massive plateau busting mechanism that would help a lot of people with stubborn set points.  For me, who hasn't been on SLD for very long (well, at all really, since I stopped and started a cleanse right away), it's been a great start to get me on my way. 

I worked out five days a week and ate well for three months straight and COULD NOT break through 181.  The Master Cleanse has done that, and now I can use SLD to keep my appetite low (perhaps some lemon water CFF too...) and eat what I REALLY want - a well rounded healthy and organic diet.  I crave fresh fruit and veggies like nothing else, and the fixins of a taco - not the meat, but the fresh lettuce, tomatoes, avocado - are just sounding like heaven.  i'm eager to try new veggies too...like, what the heck do you do with a kohlrabi?

I wonder if the Olive oil will still make my face greasy...I'll have to try everything fresh again...

[irondawn]

This just in from Realage.com - more support for my eating Mexican food!



Just because good things are in your salsa doesn't mean you're getting all the good out of it.

If you toss some avocado chunks into the spicy red stuff, you'll absorb 400 percent more lycopene from the tomatoes. Avocados give spinach salad a boost, too.

[irondawn]

I'd go with a salad or a vegetarian dish, most places will have vegetarian food and that can be a good cover ;-)

I probably shouldn't have alcohol, right?  (I'm assuming I'm correct on this, but you never know...I wouldn't mind a margarita!) 

Guess it might be the husband's night of drinking, with me as designated driver!

Here's the restaurant where we are going...or at least their menu...http://www.ztrocadero.com/menu/trocFOOD_final.pdf  Perusing now to see what I can eat...not a whole lot!

[falconcy]

Loads there to eat, for an appetizer, take the menage a trois, the entree, do the sesame orange glazed tofu. For dessert have the wild berry champagne saboyan. Have a perrier with ice and a slice of lemon or maybe a glass of wine, I would go for a white, maybe a chardonay, or if your friends are having red meat, perhaps a cabernet sauvignon, either would work with what you are having.

It will not kill things at all. I was worried about that kind of thing happening at the christening. It never happened. Just savor each mouthful and enjoy it.

[irondawn]

You don't think this will probably overdo it for the first day off the cleanse?  I was thinking everything looked too rich for day 1 of no-cleanse.

[falconcy]

You could go down to one course if you are concerned about it. Maybe nibble some of your hubby's starter and dessert. Just have a main course. The tofu will be quite light.

[Terri]

I would think after all you have accomplished with this cleanse that by Friday you are going to want to only put in your body that which is wholesome and good. I know I felt that way. And really you aren't going to be too hungry Friday. At least I wasn't after the 10 days of the MC. Fresh orange juice on ice would be wonderful to sip on. And maybe a little organic salad. Why put anything in to sabotage the goodness of what you have done? Just a thought. I recall doing the MC and feeling so empowered to make better choices. I felt so in charge and so accomplished on day 10. You can too!

[irondawn]

Day 8

Weight: 178.5

So, no movement on the weight this morning.  But I feel fine.  I feel good, actually.  Last night a bit of an issue with the fact that I got strangely hungry (as in, stomach growling hungry) late at night, just before bed.  Not sure how or why that happened, and I didn't want to make another bunch of juice - for many reasons including the fact that I wouldn't be able to get to sleep.

Had a major problem today - my clothes didn't fit.  I'm at an odd stage where most of the clothes I was wearing are really baggy, but the clothes I have around that I couldn't wear are still just a hair too tight for my conservative work atmosphere.  This is both good and bad, obviously.  What am I going to wear the rest of the week!?

I have a work photoshoot today - our 150th anniversary photo of the law department.  Should be interesting.  I'm hoping still to drop more weight by Thursday, just so I have more room to move when I regain and I'm even more fired up to workout once this is done. 

Debating whether on the end of day 10 if - instead of my Smooth Move tea - I should start drinking the orange juice to get a head start on getting my body used to food for that Friday.

[irondawn]

I think this is a telling sign - I've been sending some of falconcy's recipes to a friend who I sometimes cook with.  Her response?

"You're a masochist!  Looking at recipes while on a fast!"

That's just how little it bothers me.  I do tend to get hungry faster, but not upset that I can't do anything about it.  I even made my husband a salad last night (couldn't put the cheese in it...too tempting and easy to pop one in my mouth.)

[falconcy]

If you're a masochist, what am I  :lol: Did you tell her I posted them whilst doing 30 days worth of fast?

[irondawn]

I did.  She just shook her head and said we were crazy.

You know...baba ganoush has got me thinking.  What if I, instead, ate some baba ganoush and basmati rice Friday night BEFORE I go out, and then when I went out I could ask for a side salad, or perhaps an appetizer only.  It sounds like eating before hand might help me make informed choices and not get sick.

Of course, I could just be angling for baba ganoush.  I could seriously live off the stuff.  I mix it with basmati or dill rice and eat it like that.  So good.