Denial is a sign of going through the stages of loss, and yes, my brain is firmly in denial.
Over the last two days it has tried to talk me out of this, and this morning it started two different approaches - the first being shock and awe (those of you from the US recognize this misleading technique) about the whole thing and the second being denial.
The Brain's Shock and Awe Method: "It's Day 3. Day 3!!! 7 days is FOREVER! Prisoners of War don't have to go that long without food. Only Day 3!!! A WHOLE WEEK MORE! Oh the AGONY!"
The Brain's Denial Method: "Oh, there's a hot dog stand. Darnit - left the money up in the office. Maybe we can come back down and get one." Or "While we're over here, perhaps we should get some popcorn." "Perhaps we should look at the menu for the cafeteria and see what we are interested in eating today."
So far, today is the worst day. I didn't think it would be, but my body/brain is telling me all sorts of things. Things like, "At 5 o'clock you can go home and have dinner." Or "You just have to get through today...tomorrow you can have food." Come again? This is truly the evil part of my brain - the part that pushes me to fail or give in to things. It's the lazy brain that doesn't like change.
I'm still freezing. I should perhaps walk up and down the 6 flights of steps to my floor and see if I can't warm up that way.
I'm bored, so I want to eat. Or even have tea. If I were at home, I could distract myself for a sufficient amount of time to not feel hungry. But here at work, I've got no where to go. My only hope is that since I've been coming in early, I should leave a little early and go straight to the gym. That will make me feel better...I hope.