I went to a confirmation party today, held at an Italian restaurant. It was an amazing experience. There were seven courses - from antipasto through dessert, plus wonderful bread and butter and wine. At these types of affairs, I usually worry about eating too much and then either overeat or leave feeling deprived. Today was a completely different experience. As each course was served, I ate a few bites, enjoyed every morsel, and had room for more. I ate more of the dishes I really liked, less of the ones that were just okay. I finished the meal feeling completely satisfied and happy, yet ate MUCH less than everyone else at the table, yet it wasn't intentional! That's really the best part. I am not intentionally holding myself back or trying to reign in my appetite. I really ate exactly what I wanted and no more. It's so weird! I wasn't focused on the food for a change. It was very enjoyable, but I wasn't obsessed with wanting it/not wanting it/overeating/undereating and feeling deprived and resentful, etc., etc. I focused on my friends and the great conversation, and the food was just...background. It was there. It was delicious. But it wasn't in control of my afternoon - I was. I don't think this has ever happened to me before. I feel so self-conscious writing this, but honestly, I didn't TRY to do any of this. It just happened naturally.
I am so happy right now.