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Gastric Bypass

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Author Topic: Gastric Bypass  (Read 26064 times)

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mpq

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Gastric Bypass
« on: February 14, 2007, 07:52:45 AM »

Good Morning Everybody.

I am going to post this because I know there are members out there considering this alternative.
We have discussed gastric bypass surgery before, and I told you about our neighbor and best friend that had this surgery about 2 years ago. 1/3 or more of these people develop alcoholism. Trading one addictive behavior for another. Our friend is one of those. An absolutely wonderful man, one of those who is always the first to help anyone in need. He has been in rehab twice, the last time was an intercession by about 20 of his male friends. My husband drove him to the rehab, and babysat him overnight in a hotel because they were unable to admit him that night. He was released 10 days later when his insurance ran out. Only so many days in one year allowed.He is a tractor trailer driver for a local manufacturing plant.
Sunday, they had to put their 14 year old dog to sleep. CoCo was his special buddy, and he took it very hard. Yesterday morning, he rolled his truck in a town about 2 hours from here. They had to use the jaws of life to remove him from his truck.He is in the hospital there. Yes, he was drinking. He will be physically OK, but he will be charged with DUI, possibly do time, lose his truck license, his job, his insurance. The miracle is that he only hurt himself.He could have killed himself or someone else.
His wife is my best friend.  when she called me yesterday morning, her exact words were "we're screwed" All I could  answer was , yes.
Please keep all this in mind when you feel desperate about weight. There are worse things. Keep tweaking your SLD. it is a very healthy alternative. One that works for many. And I think that probably the only reason it does not work for others, is because we give up too early.
Remember my friends in your prayers, send them light, or whatever process you may use. They are really wonderful people.
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Clarinette

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2007, 09:47:06 AM »

mpq,

I feel for them. I'll pray and send to them good strength and good vibrations.
Sorry for their difficulties but under the bad events sometimes we find the treasures. Who knows!!!

mpq

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2007, 11:01:59 AM »

I have always found that when I look back at the worst times of my life, and I have had a few, they have been the beginning of something wonderful!
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lvivianka

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2007, 08:53:53 PM »

this is so sad; just because of a weight problem. will pray for him and his family.
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Terri

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2007, 10:04:57 PM »

I will pray for them too. If you would like me to add them to our prayer roll, I would be gald to. Just send me their names. There is incredible power in prayer.
Please pray for my dear friend who had bipass surgery about 9 months ago. She is terribly thin and looks so gaunt and has no energy whatsoever. She goes to work and comes home and goes to bed. What kind of life is that?? She can't even eat normal food yet.
I asked her if she thought she would ever have the operation reversed and she said she wanted to be thin. Hopefully things will work out and she will be able to eat more soon and get some energy.
I watched bipass surgery last night on the discovery health channel and it is such a drastic choice and I think it is dangerous. I have a couple of friends who ended up hospitalized for many months with terrible consequences from the surgery.  Both almost died. All for the sake of being thin.
I am so thankful that we have SLD and can be healthy and thin.
Terri
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mpq

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2007, 10:25:26 AM »

It's been almost 6 months since I've updated all of you on my friend and next door neighbor that had this gastric bypass, which basically turned him into an alcoholic. Last post, I told you about his terrible accident. He did lose his job, his truck drivers license, and his personal drivers license for 2 months, but it took 5 months for the authorities to finally take it.  He's is totally burned out. we all feel he is suicidal. He had been over one morning telling me where the money was, and to take care of his wife. He has bruises all over his body from his liver shutting down. 2 weeks ago his wife, my best friend, tried to have him committed. 7 police cars and 2 ambulances. Had to take him forcibly. They could only hold him for 72 hours, because he refused help. The authorities had to report his condition (point 3 8 alcohol level) He lost his drivers license indefinitely. Agreed to take meds and go to counseling though. He came home and has been severely medicated, but sober, we thought.  Until yesterday. My grandaughter (17) was at the house to swim. He came over to "Look for his sunglasses", which he thought he may have left the previous day.
He "looked" for them in our pub in the basement. Went home annihilated. His wife called me at work to apologise. I felt terrible that we supplied him, even unknowingly.  When I got home about 2 hours later I went back to the pool. I just happened to glance toward the house, and saw him walking toward it. He went into the house through the patio doors, not realising I was watching.
I followed him, and just waited at the top of the steps that lead to the pub. When he came up, he almost fell over when he saw me
there. I told him that my house has been opened to him for 22 years, he is welcome to anything in it, but the booze. And now I have to lock my doors when I go to the back yard. He was totally ashamed, but said he just can't fight it.
Well, I guess he and his wife had it out last night. She has done everything possible to help him, but he refuses to help himself.
today, when I came out to go to work, he was putting his suitcases in the driveway. (Our driveways connect, he couldn't avoid me)
He is moving out, after 36 years. If he does this, he will find a room, and drink himself to death, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him. He is an adult.  I cannot imagine life without this man. He has been our neighbor and best friend for 22 years.
I keep telling his story so that any of you who have ever contemplated this surgery will know what it can do to you. Most medications you cannot take. The one medication alcoholics take that will make them deathly ill if they have even the slightest amount of alcohol, will kill him. Your body, after this surgery, processes alcohol differently than a normal body.  I could go on and on.
I don't know what the next chapter in this story will be. We are losing hope rapidly.  I hope his story helps someone else out there.
40% of gastric bypass patients develop alcoholism. Extra weight is definitely the lesser of 2 evils. As we all know,there are other
healthy methods. :cry:
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Vronnie

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2007, 04:46:25 PM »

mpqdon't give up hope for this friend yet. It's possible that he needs to feel as if he's lost absolutely everything before he finds the strength to turn his life around.

If his path isn't to survive his great trial than those who have watched & loved him will have grown immensley in wisdom....

It's very difficult to find words of comfort in situations such as this, sometimes life can be desperately sad....it's important to find some grain of wisdom or light in all situations...
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Ann H

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2007, 08:31:45 PM »

Gracious Lord.  What a tragic waste of a good man and beautiful marriage and friendships. What a severe test and ordeal for everyone involved!

Is there something meaningful he can turn his attention to doing?

I know the Baha'is all over the world are opening up neighborhood children's classes, providing free, non-conversion-oriented spiritual education for humanity's children. Also study circles for adults on all sorts of subjects. I run a children's class for socially at-risk (gangsterism, etc) kids, and am starting a pure virtues, literacy, and puppetry class for a large group of underprivileged orphans. Folks of other religious or philanthropies all over the world are doing similar things...

An activity like this, creating some positive meaning in the world, might be a wonderful channel and therapy for your friend, especially when medications are not an option. Or he may have spiritual needs or a spiritual search that needs working through...

Sigh. If your friend and his wife cannot find earthly means to heal their relationship and hearts, then it will be left to the mercy of the Solace of All Hearts, in the eternal realm. I really hope he can start trying to heal himself here on earth, though...

I'll definitely be praying for them and you too. Good job not assisting him with the booze. But he surely needs friendship and love... Thinking about you all.
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Starpirate

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2007, 08:54:04 PM »

mpq,
thank you for sharing this story with us.
I also had a co-worker who had this surgery done.
At the table she flatlined.
They had to resusitate her twice.
She lost the weight, but regained it back after two years.

 
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Pinkmug

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2007, 03:20:45 AM »

Oh I see I missed this thread the first time.

I am very very sorry.What an ordeal you must all be going thorugh especially his wife  :( Ain't fair, some want to live, some want to die.  :( I hope he realizes in time what he's doing to himslef and all others. Hopefully it's not too late. I'm keeping all of you in my meditations. Best of luck their way and yours too.

Vronni's right, maybe when he hits rock bottom he responds positively

My son's best friend has a gastric band, he's half the weight he was. He's 20 and never drank. I trust he'll be fine but who knows!!!
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nougat

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2007, 03:24:42 AM »

how sad....
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mpq

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2007, 07:21:38 AM »

Thanks for the thoughts and good wishes. He didn't leave. When I got home last night, his suitcases were still in the driveway. He came over to sit with me while I was swimming Buddy. Apologized again for sneaking into my house. Said he had been sober for 17 days before that. I felt absolutely terrible that we contributed, although unknowingly, to his fall. Then tried to put part of the blame on me for his wife having him committed. Said I "told on him". I just very calmly told him that my daughter had one of her best friends blow his head off the week before all that happened, and over a DUI charge.(true story). I'm sure his family wishes they had taken some kind of action. AND if that was not the correct action to take, what does he suggest we do?
So the saga continues. My BIL always tells me that we are here to play a part, we agreed to it, and must do the very best that we can. I hope he agreed to a happy ending.

Pinkmug, I wonder if that gastric band is the same procedure they are advertising on TV here now?
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Pinkmug

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2007, 07:32:35 AM »

Mpq, you did right and acted like a true friend! It wasn't exactly "telling on him"!

The gastric band is like the one in the animation here:

http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/gastric_band.html

Not sure if it's the same as bypass
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shovelqueen

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #13 on: August 03, 2007, 08:22:15 AM »

The gastric band is much different than gastric bypass surgery.  It's minimally invasive, no cutting or re-routing, no changes to normal digestion and absorption, adjustable to each individual, and even reversible.  This isn't an endorsement, just my own knowledge.

My brother has had a lapband since March this year for morbid obesity.  I love him and want him to be around for years to come, and at his starting weight, that wasn't likely to happen.  He has lost over 60 lbs, and his health is steadily improving. 

The old gastric surgeries were butchery.  They depended on mal-absorption and malnutrition to do the job.  And they are not easily reversible.  No wonder people feel like your friend.  I hope he sees some light soon.  Sounds like a glimmer of hope there. 
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terio

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Re: Gastric Bypass
« Reply #14 on: August 03, 2007, 08:39:35 AM »

Stop blaming yourself for "contributing" to his drinking.  You didn't offer him a drink, he sneaked into your house and stole liquor from you.  Banks aren't "contributing" to bank robber's crimes because they keep money there.
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