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Author Topic: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?  (Read 29806 times)

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Del

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #60 on: May 08, 2007, 07:12:31 pm »

I know this is an old thread, but I just had to get involved over here.  I've joined web boards in the past (always to my utter chagrin) and I think that those who post here are a completely different group from those usually attracted to forums.  For example, the most recent board I joined - before I fled shrieking for the hills - was for those who like to go Renaissance Festivals.  Now attending a renfest can be a wonderful experience.  These boards - were not.  The same dedication to compulsive detail that makes a renfest fun, makes a board about it a war zone.

Simply, the difference I see is this:  The SLD forums are about something that is IN our lives.  That affects our lives and that changes our lives on a very fundamental level.  Other forums are about people who've taken something and made their lives about that thing.  The only board I've been on that comes close is the support forum I joined years ago for people with family and friends with cancer.  There people were affected by cancer and united in their grief and determination.  Here we are affected by our weight.  And we unite in our joy and our triumph.

Del
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Pinkmug

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #61 on: May 09, 2007, 04:01:27 am »

Sorry that you had to join a cancer patient relatives/friends support group Del... I have been to a forum similar to SLD in that everyone is so supportive, and with many more members. the rosacea support group. And yet the SLD forum seems more like "family" to me, maybe because we're less here...
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A calorie is just a bug that lives in the closet and shrinks your clothes overnight

Del

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #62 on: May 09, 2007, 04:46:58 am »

I have been to a forum similar to SLD in that everyone is so supportive, and with many more members. the rosacea support group. And yet the SLD forum seems more like "family" to me, maybe because we're less here...

I really think that we're so supportive of each other for very similar reasons that the cancer board and your rosacea board and most illness-centered boards are supportive.  We've all been there and we're all coping with similar issues, emotions and problems.  And we've all been living our lives anyway, around it, through it and in spite of it.  What separates SLD from the illness support boards is that here, we win on a regular basis.

I imagine that the day they cure cancer, the cancer boards will look like this.

Del  :)
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falconcy

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #63 on: May 09, 2007, 05:14:47 am »

Diet boards can get a bit bitchy though, especially when it goes against the grain on what the hierarchy considers the norm.  A few people from here jumped into another diet forum and had problems, mainly because the people running it had their own mantra and the SLD challenged their concepts.

Seth is a great believer in self experimentation and that has rubbed off on some of us, trying new ideas and finding out how they work. There is no "one size fits all" where dieting is concerned, we are all different. There has been a few eureka moments that came about as a direct result of individual self-experimentation that have actually helped others to succeed. Add to that the level of support and encouragement and you have a pretty good forum.

Sure, there are those who come, do the diet for a couple of weeks then move on to the next fad diet. They will be doing the same for a long time to come. We, on the other hand, will be fine tuning our weight loss, trying new ideas and new concepts. We are at the bleeding edge of things.
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multimoe

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #64 on: May 09, 2007, 05:48:35 am »

I have never had anything to do with forums of any kind before this one, so I have no real frame of reference.  But I am so astounded by what is happening here that I have been studying the psychology of online communities a bit to try to explain it.

Confession time here:  every post that I have made was going to be my last—“you have made an idiot of yourself for the last time, girl.”  But wait, it wasn’t me who was an idiot—it was my ‘character’, Trina.  Trina is a little like me, but she is not exactly me, and I feel guilty for not being as open about myself as others have.  I am basically a very practical person, a business owner, and just wanted to learn about this discovery which promised to change my relationship with food, so I could get on with life.  Okay, I believe that I have mastered that, so, being so practical, why am I still here? You people have me!  I have to know what is happening with all of you! While I believe that my motivations are largely altruistic: my profound gratitude for everything that I have received here compels me to really want to help-- I have to consider the following:

From Wikipedia        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_community
(blast! why won't this link work?)

Peter Kollock (1999) researched motivations for contributing to online communities…..he outlines three motivations  that do not rely on altruistic behavior on the part of the contributor:
•   Anticipated Reciprocity
•   Increased Recognition
•   Sense of efficacy
There is another motivation, implicit in the above, which Mark Smith mentions in his 1992 thesis: Voices from the WELL: The Logic of the Virtual Commons:
•   Communion, as Smith terms it, or "sense of community" All of these motivations are explained in the article.

While I think that you probably will believe that most of this does not apply to most people here, it has given me some perspective.

And as falconcy said, it is our belief in Seth Roberts that keeps us here.  I am drawn to excellence, and I want to know what is next--I believe there is more to come!
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losing-it

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #65 on: May 09, 2007, 06:38:34 am »

Great post and great thinking, Trina. You are a brain! Interesting about separating yourself from your character, "Trina" -- I do that, too. It's been beneficial to step back and look at my named "known self" - and look upon "her" as a gift, a child - a persona to which I'm entrusted to contribute to her growth, nuture, excellence, health, etc. To step back and recognize who I really am as the one behind the scenes, watching, and when allowed -- making decisions, allowing, restricting, developing loving that character like a parent does their child. It's not always obvious to me when I need to step back. Like you say, when the feelings of being inadequate or errant overcome, that is a good indicator to do so so one can examine and repair, or get a right perspective. Thanks for your thoughts! Thanks for reminding me to remember these things.
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shinju_chan

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #66 on: May 10, 2007, 08:14:10 am »

Thanks for the links Trina, I've actually been thinking about looking into research that might explain the culture of this board a little better as well.  I also feel a little strange sometimes when I read back my posts; though I don't feel that it is a constructed personality, I think that most people who know me on an aquantaince level would be quite surprised to read my posts, because in my daily life I'm far more silly and quiet.  Not at all serious for the most part. 

I actually do feel a little liberated to be able to finally find a place to air my seriousness, the tone I take on this board is one I feel like I can't take with people in person or they get defensive or offended, I really appreciate that everyone is so open and supportive here.  Thank you!
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Jenn

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #67 on: May 10, 2007, 08:30:52 am »

Diet boards can get a bit bitchy though, especially when it goes against the grain on what the hierarchy considers the norm.  A few people from here jumped into another diet forum and had problems, mainly because the people running it had their own mantra and the SLD challenged their concepts.

Seth is a great believer in self experimentation and that has rubbed off on some of us, trying new ideas and finding out how they work. There is no "one size fits all" where dieting is concerned, we are all different. There has been a few eureka moments that came about as a direct result of individual self-experimentation that have actually helped others to succeed. Add to that the level of support and encouragement and you have a pretty good forum.

Sure, there are those who come, do the diet for a couple of weeks then move on to the next fad diet. They will be doing the same for a long time to come. We, on the other hand, will be fine tuning our weight loss, trying new ideas and new concepts. We are at the bleeding edge of things.

I think that this is true that we are an experimental group and that in itself makes us mainly open minded people.  I find that I like to hear about the new things people are trying and sometimes even try those things myself.  That makes us different than the usual boards.
I don't know why we are all such a tigh knit group, very international,  friendly and quite a positive gang.  I really feel a genuine sense of support and "family" atmosphere here.  I think if one day we all met up in person, we would genuinely mostly get along.  Like they say..like minded people attract other like minded people.

Jenn
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falconcy

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #68 on: May 10, 2007, 09:02:12 am »

I have to agree about the international angle, we are pretty much spread over the whole planet, that in itself says something. Most of the other diet forums I've found tend to be US or UK, each with their own peculiarities. Here we really are international and we are getting the true benefits of being multinational/multicultural.

I also agree about the more experimental nature of what we are doing, that does tend to attract a particular mindset and that in itself could be something that draws us together. The understanding nature is because we have all been there and know the problems, there is no necessity for us to be judgmental.
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Seth Roberts

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #69 on: May 10, 2007, 09:16:39 am »

I also agree about the more experimental nature of what we are doing, that does tend to attract a particular mindset and that in itself could be something that draws us together. The understanding nature is because we have all been there and know the problems, there is no necessity for us to be judgmental.

I am a member of Slow Food and I was struck how much I enjoyed meeting other members at parties and other events. I asked someone "why is this?" I only remember 2 parts of her answer: 1. Public-spirited. I said, "No, I don't feel public-spirited. The events are fun!" 2. Unusual. (That is, small membership.) This made sense.
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falconcy

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #70 on: May 10, 2007, 09:34:50 am »

I've had a similar experience with a group connected with this island (Cyprus) it was an online based mailing list and brought together people from both communities on the island. I'll spare you a history lesson here, we are talking about some major hatred between the two communities though. In the days before it was possible to cross over the border dividing the two communities, we used to get together at a village called Pyla, the only place we could all get to.

In those days we had some pretty fantastic get togethers for a meal, usually when people were back on vacation from outside. One time, the usual restaurant was closed and we went to another one, the food was crap, nobody noticed it because the company was fantastic and the food secondary to the fact that we were together.

Since the border opened, we had a few meetings, it has largely fallen by the wayside. I suspect this may be due to two things. One is the fact that it is no longer difficult to do, the other is the political situation on the island and the fact that a solution to the island's problems looks further away now since the current president came to power.
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multimoe

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #71 on: May 10, 2007, 09:43:19 am »

Thanks for the links Trina, I've actually been thinking about looking into research that might explain the culture of this board a little better as well. 
  I love this new word mentioned on the site:
Egoboo is a colloquial expression for the pleasure received from public recognition of voluntary work
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mpq

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #72 on: May 10, 2007, 10:04:14 am »

I've had a similar experience with a group connected with this island (Cyprus) it was an on line based mailing list and brought together people from both communities on the island. I'll spare you a history lesson here, we are talking about some major hatred between the two communities though. In the days before it was possible to cross over the border dividing the two communities, we used to get together at a village called Phyla, the only place we could all get to.

In those days we had some pretty fantastic get togethers for a meal, usually when people were back on vacation from outside. One time, the usual restaurant was closed and we went to another one, the food was crap, nobody noticed it because the company was fantastic and the food secondary to the fact that we were together.

Since the border opened, we had a few meetings, it has largely fallen by the wayside. I suspect this may be due to two things. One is the fact that it is no longer difficult to do, the other is the political situation on the island and the fact that a solution to the island's problems looks further away now since the current president came to power.

if you haven't noticed, I'm one of those annoying people that cannot leave a question unanswered. Send me a site so I can find out what was going on in cypress. I keep getting Cypress Louisiana.
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mpq

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Re: Why are people who post here so well-behaved?
« Reply #74 on: May 10, 2007, 11:09:14 am »

no wonder! :lol:
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